Difficulties in a relationship can have a profound effect on every part of everyday life. Sometimes it is communication or recurring arguments. Sometimes it is differences in how you each want to approach the everyday. Sometimes it is larger: a response to an event, infidelity, a breach of trust, emotional outbursts that feel hard to control, dissatisfaction with the sexual side of the relationship, or with the choices being made around parenting.
The feeling of being in a standoff, unable to resolve problems, unable to see a way forward when you want to be able to work together, creates distress, anxiety, resentment, and frustration. Over time, it erodes the sense of connection that brought you together.
We start by understanding what has created division and difference between you. We work to recognise what is working. The resources you have, the experiences that bring you together, the things that have kept you together. While also acknowledging what pulls you apart.
We map how problems manifest over time, and how they create division or maintain separation. We think about how each of you can come together to create change. How to communicate differently, and how to approach the challenges of everyday life with a different rhythm. We spend time on what repair might look like, and on what honesty and direct communication can do for the relationship in the longer run.
Sometimes we will meet you together from the start. Sometimes we will see each of you individually first, before bringing you back together. There is no single right way to begin. We work out the structure that fits where the relationship is.
Couples find a way of communicating that does not collapse under pressure. The standoff loosens. Repair becomes possible. Not necessarily a return to where things were, but a more honest and more sustainable footing. People often finish the work with more clarity about what they each want, and about whether the relationship can hold it.
Coming in. Beginning to name what is happening. From there, we work out together how the rest is shaped.
Sex therapy for couples is a structured psychosexual approach that addresses the sexual and intimate life of the relationship, alongside the wider relational work.
Sensate focus is a structured set of touch-based exercises used in psychosexual therapy to reduce performance pressure and rebuild responsive arousal between partners. It is one of the techniques used here.
Usually yes, though there can be value in individual sessions at specific points in the work. This is discussed in the initial consultation.
Most couples work runs from 8 to 20 sessions. Some takes longer, particularly where there has been disclosure, betrayal, or chronic conflict.
Therapy creates the conditions for the couple to make decisions about the relationship with clear eyes. Many relationships find a way through that they would not have without the work. Some do not, and the therapy supports a thoughtful ending.