Monogamy and long-term, exclusive partnership continues to be held up as the default for adult sexual and intimate relationships. For many people, that works. For many others, it does not. There are other ways of doing relationships that can feel fulfilling, satisfying, and connected. But trying to find them can be daunting, and often lonely.
Considering an open or consensually non-monogamous relationship is intimidating to talk about, or to ask for, in the face of a dominant culture that tends to dismiss or devalue these structures. You can feel alone making these decisions, or feel there is no space to fully explore the options. To make sense of your own needs, or to ask for what you want inside a relationship that could move toward a different setup.
The work helps you think in broad terms about what a relationship could look like, and what might be right for you now.
For those already in relationships, we spend time on what it could take to move to a more open or non-monogamous setup while retaining the support, connection, and protection of what is already valued. We think through potential pitfalls, and how communication needs to stay open and honest, so the things you value about the current relationship are not lost in the process.
For those not currently in a relationship, we talk about needs and what structures might fit. We explore ways of communicating and asking for what you need. And ways of connecting to communities and environments where there is greater diversity of view about what relationships can be.
Open and consensually non-monogamous relationships can work.
With the right structures, honest communication, and contact with your own values.
We work through the range of emotions that come up: anxiety, anticipation, excitement, shame, fear. The aim is to feel more grounded in the decisions you are making, and clearer about what is right for you over the longer run.
People leave this work feeling more secure. In their long-term relationships, in their primary relationships, and in any newer relationships they choose to form. The space is non-judgemental and open to the idea that relationships can evolve and look different in many ways.
Just asking. Enquiring about the possibility is usually the most daunting step. No decisions are made. You do not need to agree to anything. Being honest that monogamy may not work for you, and that there might be an alternative worth exploring, often opens a conversation that allows you to move in a direction with more fulfilment, satisfaction, and connection.